Theology of Failing
I used to love theology. I loved theology because every once in a while it would give me a better glimpse of God and it would give a purer taste of why we're called to love God. I have grown weary of theology, though, because theology is hard and I have been working hard at theology and I have recently suffered a failure--whether the failure is temporary or permanent is still up in the air. What I have to get back to is that I'm called to love God. And if I'm called to love God in studying theology, then getting back up after a failing in the effort might not result in success, but it might end in deeper love. God, I hope so. God, make it so.
posted by Aaron Perry at
4:55 PM
10 Comments:
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I like this definition of failure: Failure is when one never even begins to TRY something. You HAVE tried, therefore you have not failed.
I find this to be a sensible, and true-er definition of the word.
AP,
Though I do not know the details and the extent of the failure to which you are referring, I am someone who knows failure and rejection in theology.
I am praying for you.
Tim F.
It's quite possible I'm an idiot but how do you fail at theology? Is it a test, a competition, I don't get it
To remedy, I prescribe a lot more Calvin/Barth--the contents of the Faith--and caution you to restrict your diet of Luther/Wesley--the subjective condition of the self--to nil.
Dr. Crusty
Hi AJ: You can fail in theology by being a poor theologian, I suppose, but my failure was in my work in theology...not my theology itself, which might be poor when it is unorthodox, but hopefully it's mainly orthodox! :)
Crusty: Thanks for the rx. I have not been reading much Wesley, lately. Actually, I have not been reading much at all! That is part of the problem: my desire is waning.... :S
I would suggest that a waning desire for other's theological insight does not constitute failure...perhaps the Lord has you on a journey to discover more of Him - just you and HIM, apart from theological argument and the noise that sometimes argument makes.
I don't know you well, nor do I pretend to know the situation of which you speak. I just encourage you to keep finding Him.
If the goal of Theology is to know God than even bad theology, as long as it is at some point identified as such, has value in telling us what God is not. I guess I would look at it like edison and the lightbulb (or forman and the grill or whoever it was) who said he had never failed he had just learned what didn't work.
I know theology nerds won't like this opinion (nor the fact that I just called them nerds) but if it was that impotant that we get all the finer points exactly right all the time than God would have spelled that stuff out much more clearly in Scripture.
Unless you are convinced that God has first and foremost called you to be a theologian than cut yourself some slack. Most of us have out hands full living and sharing what we know let alone nailing down all the fine points.
I am all for the study of scipture and trying to answer the big questions but when we get to the point where we think having it all figured out is going to open some closed door or make the church way more effective, or make us better christians I think we cross the line into some form of gnosticism, or maybe it's some other ism - I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out out how to love my neighbor and tell Him about Jesus.
I gues ultimatly I'm saying don't be to hard on yourself and don't find your identity or self woth in knowing theology or in how much you read or how deep you think.
Hi Aaron,
What an enormous coincidence, we share our name, our favorite books, the name of our blogs, and love of knowing God.
Failure is just an opportunity for us to humbly realize our need of God, and his continual elusiveness to our understanding. He will always be a mystery, albeit one that wants us to solve it.
Are you studying theology in college? I had about 8 college bible courses, but decided not to pursue a degree in vocational ministry.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. It's in the challenges in life - the difficulties that we might consider failures - that we need to dig our heels in deeper and pursue what we're after. I could look at the students in my class this year who just couldn't get a math concept and blame myself (which I have) or I could evaluate myself as a teacher and ask myself what I could have done differently to help that particular student. I'm not sure of your situation, but I encourage you to look at it, learn from it, and become a better theologian because of it.
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