The Search to Belong by Joe Myers Part 1

Simply put, this is the best small groups book I've ever read. Beyond being quite readable and not overly drawn out, Myers argument rings true with my experience as a pastor that I haven't put into words. I want to give it the attention it deserves, so I'll be sharing three times on it.

Myers' thesis is that healthy belonging involves four "spaces" of belonging. He takes Edward Hall's idea of space and metaphorically applies it to community. Hall argued that you allow into certain space people you were comfortable with. The closer they got, the closer relationship you had. Myers takes this idea and says that we all need to belong in each of these spaces. None are better than the other; they are all necessary and they are all different.

So, what are the spaces? Public, social, personal, intimate.

PUBLIC: A relationship created by an outward force. Perhaps ways you could think of this are the friendship you join up with someone at a sporting event. You cheer together, High Five each other, maybe even share a spontaneous hug--and the game is enhanced because of it. But you wouldn't ask that person to come to your house.

SOCIAL: A space where you are putting your best foot forward. You are sharing snapshots of who you are and what it would be like to know you. This is what you do with your family doctor, your favorite restaurant server, some coworkers. This space happens when you go out to eat with people and it's not weird, but you are afraid you'd run out of things to talk about in your home. You're comfortable asking and being asked for small favours.

PERSONAL: A space where the other knows a lot about you. They don't know everything, but they know a lot. Likewise, you know a lot. These are people you "connect" with and call close friends.

INTIMATE: The one or two people who know you. Period. Myers uses the phrase "naked and not ashamed." This might be a spouse, but doesn't have to be.

So, how does this apply to small groups? Myers says that you choose how you belong to people and some small groups programs promise level of relationship that you just can't force. Second, we pressure people to belong in ways they might not be comfortable with. We (small groups pastors, etc.) will says things like, "Here's where the real community is." Not true, says Myers. All levels of belonging are necessary and essential to healthy community for groups as well as individuals. Maybe part of the reason people feel they don't belong is because we've created not only a Hollywood world of marriage, but of what it means to belong.

Political Ads

The Conservative Party of Canada has launched a series of ads questioning Michael Ignatieff's commitment to Canada. They finish with the phrase: Michael Ignatieff: Just Visiting. Here's one.



Michael Ignatieff responds by saying they are questioning the patriotism, the Canadian-ness of other Canadians who live abroad. He says the Conservatives think these Canadians are less Canadian.



Some would think I'd identify with Ignatieff because I am one of those Canadians who lives abroad. I am one of those Canadians who lives in the US and follows its state of affairs. But I don't. Here's why: It's legitimate to question one's commitment to a country when one is running for its highest office. Michael Ignatieff has missed the fact that no other Canadians who have lived abroad for over thirty years have their eye on being Prime Minister. He's the only one. And he's the one to say he'd move back had he lost in an earlier election. So, Dr Ignatieff, please don't lump me into your category. At least, not until I'm running for Prime Minister.

Why Read?

I love to read. I forget most of what I read. I takes notes to help retain. Still, I lose most of what I put in my head. I have decided that the greatest benefit of reading is not learning--though that remains a great benefit--but filling. If you are in a leadership position--and everybody influences somebody which means that everyone leads someone--then you have to give out. Reading helps fill me so that I have stuff--whether info, ideas, partially formed opinions, or an abundant spirit--to give.

"Taken" and the Complexity of Love

"Jesus broke the heart of many 1st century Palestinian mothers and he hasn't stopped." Will Willimon attributed the quote to someone whose point was to urge parents to release their children to their college/university. The call to follow Jesus meant a death to other opportunities of following, including family.

I just saw the movie "Taken" with Heather. It's a story about a former gov't agent, played by Liam Neeson, whose daughter is abducted and forced into sex trafficking in Europe. It's a great action flick with all the necessary moments of justice / revenge. At one point Neeson's character is torturing his daughter's original abductor for information with electricity. In the movie, it felt right.

This past Sunday I preached on the holiness of God. I finished up the sermon with some reflections on this doctrine's practical implications for contemporary issues: sexuality, gossip, pride, and torture. I don't think torture is acceptable in any way. I knew this would rub some of my congregation the wrong way, so I acknowledged that and offered myself for a conversation on the subject. One true brother in Christ and mentor shared some thoughts with me about whether the torture of one prevents the murder of thousands. Indeed.

I wonder whether the justice of this scenario depends on the identity of the one tortured and the thousands saved. Certainly in the movie Neeson's character is driven because it was his daughter who was taken. I got to thinking about Jesus's call to abandon family to follow him. I wonder if this is the only way a society truly becomes loving: Breaking and reordering one's social commitments. Breaking and reordering one's list of those they are called to love. It obviously gets quite complex quite quickly.

I suppose this is part of the reason why the Roman Catholics don't allow their priests to marry and have children. It keeps life simpler. They are free to love all.

Willimon's Challenges of Biblical Preaching

I had the pleasure of listening to Will Willimon last Monday share about the challenges of biblical preaching. Of course, if you hear Willimon preach, you'll think there are none. Here are the top five take-aways from the conference.

1. The Bible is old. It is different from the world we live in. We try to make it recent and relevant. This is typical of modernity. God forbid we have a conflict with the Bible because modernity wants to harmonize everything. This is why reason became the great equalizer. But you can't harmonize everything. Modernity is afraid of conflict and has given us the most violent century to help bring this unity. Willimon: "You no way to unify without the army."

2. Scripture always talks about God. It rarely talks about us, even though we want it to be about us. We make it good ideas and principles for living so that it's about us. The challenge of the Bible is that it's about God.

3. Scripture is about conversion, not agreement. It's supposed to sound odd and impossible.

4. Is our Christianity best suited for people who are 30? Willimon: "Most of my best ideas were before I was 35." I get the feeling we preserve the faith until people will settle down and have kids and then come back to it.

5. If anyone hears anything at all during a sermon, it's a miracle. It's not grace if it's predictable.

Preaching and Obama

Heather's Uncle, John Beukema, is a pastor who used to work for Preaching Today. He is an associate editor (meaning he did lots of work but gets little credit!) of The Art and Craft of Biblical Preaching. It is a tremendous book on preaching with almost two hundred articles by about over a hundred contributors ranging from Bill Hybels to Andy Stanley to Rob Bell to Rick Warren to Will Willimon. I love using it for short preaching ideas throughout my week.

I just finished three chapters on preaching to Latin-, African-, and Asian-Americans. What stood out from all of these chapters is the feeling of marginalization from which these groups suffer. Preaching to them, then, is often done by focusing on Scripture's stories of marginalization. Simply acknowledging the marginalization begins to have healing effects.

Which leads to Obama. Many Conservative critics (prophets?!) have perfectly good critiques of Obama, but these critiques have to be couched in acknowledging the marginalization over which Obama's presidency is a symbolic victory. This is nothing new; it's just hitting me--most of all as a preacher--with specific people in my congregation in mind who have suffered and continue to suffer marginalization.

Preacher and Prayer through Eva's Eyes 2

Eva has two things underlined in chapter 2, the second completely resonated with me as well:

"Life-giving preaching cost the preacher much--death to self, crucifixion to the world, the travail of his own soul. Crucified preaching only can give life. Crucified preaching can come only from a crucified man."

Interesting sidenote: Karl Barth said that the only preacher is Jesus.

Reflections on Maximum Impact

Maximum Impact is a leadership event put on by John Maxwell as an outreach for churches and a resource to the business community. It has high quality speakers, and some dud athletes. It's always a good day. This year I only caught about half, which was unfortunate. (My wife had a nasty reaction to something and was covered in hives! The ER helped her out.) Here are my reflections on a few of the speakers.

Liz Murray
Liz is a soon to be graduate of Harvard, having come from the Bronx. She was homeless and has worked her way into success. She has quite a story and one that's good to hear. She said one thing that I hope I don't forget. She described how the toughest part of her morning was when she would touch the doorknob of whoever's apartment she was sleeping at to leave for the day and looked back and saw maybe dozens of other people sleeping. She desperately wanted to go back to sleep. If she asked any of those other people whether she should go back to bed or go to school, they would have told her to go back to bed. She had it tough. It only made sense not to try. Then Murray said this: "Be careful who you get your agreement from in life." WOW. Great thought and idea. You will always find people who agree with you. Be careful who they are and what they agree with. The challenge for me is really listening to people in their trials while not agreeing with their despair and hopelessness.

Bill George
Bill is a business prof at Harvard and obviously has a passionate faith. Two things that he said stood out to me.

First, "Follow your compass and not your clock." Follow the direction you need to go and the character you want formed in you; don't follow the timetable you set for your life. This doesn't just apply in business and career, but in relationships, school, church, and other places.

Second, "Your playing small doesn't serve the world." Nobody does anybody any good with the "I don't matter" routine, the "I can't do anything" routine. Everyone influences someone. You might not be able to change the world, but you can influence someone's world for good. Playing small isn't humility; it's worshiping the small god made in the image of yourself.

Preacher and Prayer through Eva's Eyes

I grew up in the Standard Church, a holiness movement denomination that later merged with The Wesleyan Church. The Standard Church always ordained women. Even before it was hip. Eva Alexander was one of its ordained women, known as being a high quality preacher. I only knew Eva later in her life. She lived with out family in her latest years as she declined in body and mind. Yet even then she maintained a spirit of generosity and humour. On a recent trip back to Shawville I found a copy of "Preacher and Prayer" by E.M. Bounds that Eva had owned and read. I thought it would be valuable to read through this book, taking special notice of her own markings through the text. Here's the first installment.

Bounds talks about the person of the preacher. The person is what matters. The person is who God uses. The sermon flows from the person. The person is made in prayer. Eva has noted this idea well throughout. She notes Bounds' words that God is not looking for better methods, but better people. They are the machinery of the Holy Spirit! She also notes that true preachers don't make sermons; they make people and saints. And only saints make saints. And yet this is not the work of the person, but the work of God: Prayer is the preacher's greatest weapon.